Nestle and I are becoming BFF. First Raisinets, now this? Holy heck are they good at chocolate. It’s pretty hard to fuck up chocolate, so I don’t know if that’s saying much. Furthermore, it’s much much harder to fuck up ice cream.

As I take my first bite of this I think,  ”today is the best day of my life”. This is probably because I constantly deny myself proper ice cream and allow frozen yogurt. That’s like replacing Thanksgiving mains with Tofurkey. Or real Coke with Diet Coke. Or Norm Macdonald with Colin Quinn (Howard Stern did a SNL special all weekend and it stuck). You get it by now. Nothing replaces the real deal of centrifugally separated breast milk fat of another species that’s been frozen, sweetened, wrapped in petroleum-based plastic and shipped God knows how many miles. Nothing, I tell you!

My two-minute tango

This bar is just the right size. It’s big enough to impress, but not bulky like Dove or Magnum bars. As I unwrap it, I’m taken back to my childhood. Perhaps the grown-up treats made of frozen yogurt, gelato or ice cream mixed live on a cold slab have driven simple chocolate bars out of my mind. But this isn’t simple chocolate.

Tiny, chewy cookie bits are embedded in the vanilla ice cream (the name gives this one away) within, but it is the exterior that surprises me. Small chunks of cookie are included in the thin, crispy outer chocolate layer. This adds a layer of texture that takes ice cream bars to the next level! I really wasn’t expecting Nestle to take the cookie mission so seriously. I like that it’s a balance between the indulgent candy bar ice creams and more straightforward varieties.

Parting is such sweet sorrow … Get it?

Overall, the Nestle Cookies N’ Cream bar is a chocolaty ice cream with a surprising texture. Neither too sweet nor too heavy. It was over too soon.

Nutrition Info (per bar)

200 Calories … but let’s not delve any deeper