I am a regular. At the gas station. Of course, it’s been almost 4 months of regular visits and I know Bernard recognizes me. Ryan is courteous so at first I wasn’t sure if he did recognize me. Belinda works the register and, in the past week, has made it perfectly clear that she knows I don’t like a plastic bag with anything I buy*.

*Yes, I’m saving the planet one bag at a time. Feel free to show your gratitude in the Comments section. 

I walk into the gas station and glance to the beverage fridges. Ryan is checking some stuff with a delivery-type guy. He looks up, and recognizes me. As I walk to the register, Bernard passes me and greets me. Belinda knows not to bag today’s items and talks to me like she’s familiar with me. Every single gas station employee knew who I was today! I am somewhat appalled and, yet, somehow extraordinarily happy. This is a great community of which to be a part: Everyone is courteous and takes care of me while I eat chili dogs. #Heaven

Access to half the beverages was blocked today by Ryan’s business, so it was either alcohol (before 11 am? Yikes), soda or energy drinks. I notice a flavor of Monster energy drink called Monster Rehab that reads “Tea + Lemonade + Energy” with only 10 calories! It’s like an Arnold Palmer without the dorky golfing reference. I survey the Monster Rehab line, which includes Green Tea and some red tea energy drinks as well. And my eyes stop on “Tea + Orangeade + Energy”.

Perfect. These two are similar enough to go toe-to-toe AND when’s the last time I had orangeade?

Monster Rehab: Orangeade

OK, so the can technically says “Tea + Orange + Energy” but according to the Monster Energy Drinks site, we can just cut the crap and call it O-ade. Also, I assume the “Energy” part is a given.

Excited, I try this first. Yum! Definite orange flavor, plus a strong tea influence. I find the existence of iced tea-infused energy beverages fantastic. You can’t always be in the mood for coffee, and sometimes you just aren’t in the energy drink mood.

Monster Rehab: Tea + Lemonade

Once again, I’m referring to the official web site for these titles. As a fan of iced teas and Arnold Palmer drinks, I look forward to opening and sampling this particular flavor. However, after the Orangeade symphony of flavor this one tastes like somebody is strangling a cat. The Tea + Lemonade hits a lot of awkward high notes that are too sweet and yet too sour at the same time.

Shocked by the contrast, I have two very different coworkers try each and both of them (even cleansing their palates in between) wholeheartedly agreed with me. Perhaps there isn’t enough iced tea to mute the harsh tastes of a very artificial lemonade. We are all familiar with delicious full-flavored A. Palmers that drinking a diet version isn’t as satisfying.

THE WINNER

I know, I know. This is completely out of left field.  Just as I was giving my feedback on two drinks, it seemed like Monster Rehab Orangeade and Monster Rehab Tea + Lemonade were neck and neck. And then POW! Orangeade is the winner out of nowhere!

Excuse the sarcasm. But three people with varying preferences all found this flavor to trump the other. It’s orange-y, tastes like a delicious tea drink and CRACKS YOU OUT. Between the two drinks, I had slightly more than a whole can and wasn’t too hyperactive, but definitely feel it. For diet beverages, these will both give you a kick in the ass. Enjoy!

Nutrition Info: 10 calories, some B vitamins and whatever the voodoo inside energy drinks is.